The ADHD Twister: 7 Game-Changing Routines You Can Use to Help Your Children Bring Order to Their Lives

March 11, 2024

AcademicAlly, LLC: March 14, 2024

Monday morning, and you are already ten steps behind. The mad dash to pack lunches and get kids out the door has left your head spinning. Grabbing your car keys, you rush to the family room door to enter the garage, but on your way, you step on your daughter’s babydoll, which screams out in pain as her little pink belly reinflates with air. What ensues is a flurry of papers flying through the air and a shower of hot coffee spraying across the front of the kitchen cabinets and all over your very white suit you just had drycleaned for your company presentation later this morning. The number of times you have pleaded with your children to clean up after themselves is seemingly irrelevant at this moment as you fly upstairs to overhaul your outfit and return without a moment to waste.

Many of you can relate to this scenario. Perhaps it did not play out exactly like this, but mishaps involving a carelessly abandoned toy or piece of sporting equipment are regular occurrences in your home. All you want is order in the house, but the prospect of any semblance of organization and calm is about as likely as a Philadelphia Eagles fan and a Dallas Cowboys fan finding common ground. The chaos is enough to drive everyone crazy, yet the consistency and continuity needed to implement and maintain systems of order are elusive and fleeting at best. How do you reign in the tornadic weather systems that wreak havoc on your household day in and day out? Here’s the thing: your little wind tunnel needs structure in the form of organizational systems. She needs protocols and routines, providing her with tangible ways to keep her life in order. Yes, it initially it is challenging to accomplish this goal, but think about this stark reality: without some semblance of predictability and routine, your child and her belongings will continue to remain untethered, unleashing a storm of disarray and chaos every time she enters your home.

Ready to take the plunge? Here are seven game-changing routines you can use to eliminate the pandemonium in your home and empower your children to bring order their lives:

  1. Morning Routine:

    Getting kids ready for school is one of the great challenges in a parent’s life. Whether it’s peeling the child from his bed or getting her out the door on time for the school bus, the race to get ready for school is one many parents would rather avoid. But this process does not have to be rife with controversy and conflict. Children need to be up and out of bed at the same time every day. Multiple alarms can be set to get the body ready to face the day. If Junior needs to be out of bed at 7:30am, it may be helpful to set an alarm for 7:10am and have two more alarms go off thereafter. If your child is prone to hitting the snooze button, it might be helpful to place the alarm clock on the other side of the room, so he is forced to get out of bed to turn it off. It’s up to both of you to determine what the next steps should be once the child is out of bed. Here are some suggestions:
    1. Brush teeth
    2. Wash face
    3. Get dressed
    4. Eat breakfast
    5. Grab lunch (packed the night before) and place in backpack
    6. Walk dog
    7. Wash hands
    8. Grab backpack and sports bag and leave

For those kids who like to shower in the morning, replace #2 with taking a shower. Does your little lamb get lost in the bathroom? They can create a bathroom playlist that is set to last as long as it would take them to complete steps 1-3. Once that last song in that playlist begins, they know they need to start wrapping up their routine.

  1. Bedtime Routine:

    Winding down for the day is not easy. This is why we suggest starting early. One cannot be expected to stop all she is doing, jump into bed, and go right to sleep. We have to set the tone, creating a relaxing ambience, and working toward a relaxed state of mind. Here are some suggestions:

  1. All serious conversations need to cease two hours before bedtime.

    Whatever “it” is, can wait and be addressed tomorrow. There is no sense having a heated conversation and getting riled up just before one goes to bed.

  2. Shower:

    sometimes the warm water can help to bring on a relaxed state of mind. Again, if your student gets lost in the bathroom, tap into that bathroom playlist to help mark time.

  3. Snacks:

    need to be low sugar. There is no reason to load up on sugary snacks and drinks just before bed as this runs counterintuitively to winding down for the night.

  4. Lighting:

    lower the lights to invite a sense of calm in the bedroom. Glaring overhead lights tend to wake people up.

  5. Smell:

    the use of essential oils and incense can help to create a relaxing environment. Avoid the use of scented candles as this could be a fire hazard once your children fall asleep.

  6. Screens:

    the use of backlit screens with blue light just before bed is ill-advised as the blue light suppresses the production of your own melatonin, the hormone responsible for bringing on sleep. Stop using screens at least one hour before you go to bed.

  7. Read:

    reading books or magazines can be a relaxing way to wind down for sleep.

  8. Music:

    listening to relaxing music can also help the body to prepare for sleep.

  9. Meditate/Mindfulness:

    this act of kindness is a wonderful way to quiet the noise in the mind and to signal to the rest of the body that it’s time to go to sleep.

  10. Brain dump:

    if you have a busy mind but mindfulness is not your thing, try engaging in a brain dump before you get into bed. Using a timer or the second hand on an analog clock, take two minutes to write down everything that’s on your mind. No item is too small or insignificant. Engaging in this activity is effective in releasing all that’s on your mind long enough to allow you to rest and get a good night’s sleep.

  1. Homework Protocol:

    Most of you have children who are seemingly unaware of assignments and pending due dates. At some point, they have failed to hand in an assignment on time, even after they have gone to the trouble to complete the assignment! Here is a surefire homework protocol that will help your child initiate and complete his assignments:

  1. Check assignment book against the school portal:

    does what you have written down in your assignment book match with what the teacher has posted on the portal?

  2. What is the homework?

    What subjects have assignments?

  3. What do I need to do to complete each assignment:

    What are the steps you need to take to complete the assignments?

  4. What does DONE look like?

    What is my finished product supposed to look like once I finish it?

  5. What is my plan of action?

    Which assignments do I want to do first? Am I ripping off the Band-Aid and starting with the most difficult assignment first, or do I need to warm up with an easier assignment?

  6. Did I complete my assignments?

    Did I follow all directions? Did I complete all of the problems?

  7. How do I submit my work?

    Am I expected to hand in the work in class or submit it online?

  8. Did I submit my work?

    Did you upload the documents, and did you remember to push the “submit” button?

  9. Check it off:

    check off each assignment as you complete it.

  10. Check it off again:

    Place a second checkmark next to the assignment once you submit it or place it back in your folder and in your backpack.

  1. Exit Routine:

    Like so many other routines and protocols, the exit strategy requires some planning ahead.
    1. Prep the night before: students need to pack up their backpacks the night before. All textbooks, chapter books, binders, homework, calculators, and other materials need to be properly loaded into the backpack once homework has been completed. Similarly, sports bags need to be loaded with uniforms, practice clothes, water bottles, footwear, towels, snacks, etc.

    2. Lunch and Breakfast:

      ideally, lunches that need to be brought to school should be made the night before and placed in the fridge. If you have an on-the-go kid who likes to grab breakfast as she runs out the door, these items can be prepped the night before too. Granola bars, boiled eggs, yogurt, smoothies, etc can be placed next to the lunchbox in the fridge or placed out of the way on the counter, ready to be grabbed on the way out of the house.

  1. Feeding Time:

    You don’t know how many times I have heard parental complaints about the lack of participation in post-meal clean up. As soon as the meal is consumed, the kids jump up from the table and run off to the night’s activities. It’s ok to stop them in their tracks. Before the meal ends, remind everyone that they need to bring their dishes, flatware, and cups to the sink and rinse and load them into the dishwasher. Leftovers need to be placed in storage containers and refrigerated. Placemats or tablecloths need to be removed from the table and the table wiped down.

  1. Order in the Room:

    The ADHD bedroom frequently looks like a tornado hit it. Clothes cover the entire floor-it doesn’t matter if it’s clean or dirty, the clothing is on the floor! There are piles of papers on every surface, but the fascinating thing is the fact that your kid knows exactly where everything is in each of these piles. Ultimately, you will have to decide whether this is a battle worth fighting, especially if he is in high school or college. For younger children and those older children who are willing to engage, try these strategies:
  1. Make the bed. If nothing else, having a made bed sets the tone in the room. This small act can motivate your children to extend this organization to other tasks in their rooms.
  2. Label drawers with words or pictures to remind the user which articles or clothing or which belongings go in each drawer. For example, if socks go in a drawer, write “socks” and place a small picture of a sock next to it on the drawer.
  3. Place a laundry hamper in your child’s bedroom so the dirty laundry has a home.
  4. Fold laundry and place it in the laundry basket by category so your child just has three or four clusters of clothing she needs to remove from the basket as opposed to making multiple trips back and forth. For example, fold and put together short-sleeve shirts, long-sleeve shirts, pants, shorts, socks, and underwear. Your child must then return the laundry basket to the laundry room.
  5. Similar to the idea of labeling clothing drawers, label baskets and crates for toys. Remember, everything has a home!
  6. Use pegs in the closet instead of hangers to make hanging robes, jackets, and other bulky clothing items easier.
  7. Take a photo of the room once everything has been put away, and take a photo of each area of the room so your resident can remember what he needs to do to return it back to order.

  1. Check it off:

    When all else fails, checklists are super helpful. Post a checklist in the location where the routine is taking place. For example, place a checklist on the bathroom mirror so the child can check each task off as he completes each one. Attach a small, laminated checklist on a baggage tag on a backpack or sports bag.

Ironically, we are entering tornado season in certain parts of our country, and our certified storm chasers are gearing up for an exciting season. The good news is you now have several powerful tools to prevent any wind tunnels from entering your home. Set the stage by communicating expectations with your children, and follow through with consistency until your children become self-sufficient.