How to Advocate for Yourself Effectively and With Confidence

AcademicAlly, LLC has dubbed the month of May, “Mayke It Happen”. This is the final of four editions that provides insider tips to end-of-the-year success.

You know that feeling in the pit of your stomach when something just doesn’t feel right? The one that tells you the assignment you are about to embark on is going to be awful. The signs that scream at you, “Stop! Don’t move another inch until you get help!” That pounding headache that ensues because you didn’t heed that warning, and now all you can see is four weeks of imprisonment, chained to your kitchen table. And yet, your pride entices you into persevering on your own because somewhere, somehow you know you have the ability to figure this out. At least, that is what you are hoping for. But all signs are pointing to the inevitable: you need to get some help.

We have all been there: that breaking point when you realize you need assistance to complete a task. Whether it is a project, paper, presentation, or preparation for an assessment, there are just some moments in our lives when we need a little help. There is no shame in this by the way. Newsflash: no one can get through life without seeking some form of assistance at some point. In fact, I challenge you to find one single person who has managed to get this far without at least a microgram of aid from someone. I guarantee you won’t find them. Think about it: we go to doctors when we are not feeling well. We depend on our township refuse teams to take away our trash each week. We ask our friends for help with relationships or other small favors. Why should getting assistance with schoolwork be any different?

In fact, as a student, you have the right to receive help. That is your teacher’s responsibility. They are there, not only to instruct and teach you new material, but they are there to ensure you understand the very content they are teaching you. A solid teacher will avail themselves to you during class, before or after school, or during lunch hours. They will direct you to additional resources. And they will understand how very vulnerable students can feel when it comes to asking for help. They recognize how much fortitude it takes for students to seek assistance. Your solicitation is an indication of how seriously you take your academic performance, and teachers appreciate that. The silver lining in all of this is that teachers are more likely to throw you a bone when they see how hard you are working in their classes. What might that look like? They may give you an extension on your due date. They may decrease the requirements for the assignment. Or they may be lenient in their grading because they know how much effort you put into this assignment.

So, what can you do to feel more comfortable and confident about getting the help you need? Follow these surefire suggestions:

1. Recognize: be aware of when you need help. What are the clues you should pay attention to? How do you feel about this assignment? Signs of overwhelming stress and anxiety are good indicators that help is in order. Are you stuck and can’t get past a certain piece of information or part of a task? Getting assistance may help you to gain traction again and move forward.
   
2. Who: Who is the authority who can help you? Is it a teacher? A parent? An academic coach? A friend who is excelling in the same class? If your own teacher is not someone you feel comfortable asking for assistance, or he/she is not available, is there another teacher from another section who can help you?
   
3. How: What is the best way for you to ask for help? Will you feel more comfortable leaving a note on your teacher’s desk? Do you want to go in early or stay a few minutes after class to talk about the situation? Would you prefer to email or text (assuming you have your teacher’s permission to do so) your teacher? Is it better for a parent to start the conversation with the teacher, give her the heads up that she can expect to be hearing from you, and then you will take it from there?
   
4. What: What information are you seeking-come prepared with a list of questions or issues you want to resolve.
   a. Are you not understanding the material? Be sure to identify which content does not make sense to you.
   b. Are you confused about a concept? Write out what you do understand and identify where you get lost.
   c. Are you unclear about directions for a project or paper? Ask the teacher to explain what he/she expects of you. Go over the rubric. Understand the number of pages or paragraphs you are required to write or the number of slides you need to create. How many resources are required and what kind of resources must you use?
   d. Do you need clarification about a due date? Are there mini due dates or check-in dates you need to be aware of? If you would like to check in with the teacher for a progress check in, can you do that?
   e. Do you need to ask for an extension? By when do you feel you would be able to submit the final product?
   f. Are you completely confused and you don’t know where to begin? Do you not know what you do not know? Say exactly that to your teacher, it won’t be the first time they have heard that! They can help you to peel away the layers of confusion and help you to identify the source of the problem as well as offer guidance to problem solve.
   
5. Confirm: After taking measures to meet with your teachers, make sure you received the information you needed. Are all questions answered? Are you clear on your mission? Do you have any remaining questions?
   
6. Back up plan: Just in case this did not work out, what is your Plan B? Who else can you speak with? Is there another teacher in another section you can ask for help? Is there a head of the department who could guide you? Can you meet with an academic coach or subject-specific tutor? Can a friend help you?

There is no shame in asking for help. No one knows everything there is to know about everything, even if they think they do. Here’s the thing: while it may feel uncomfortable to advocate for yourself, failing at something because you didn’t will feel worse. If you are asking for help, that means you are very self-aware. You recognize there is an issue that needs to be addressed. It also means you are strong, because you are pursuing what you need in order to successfully meet your goals. Teachers and the other adults in your life will respect you for your courage-and they will take full advantage of the opportunity to spout off about their expertise in their subject area! If it helps to ease your nerves, bring a friend along-they may benefit from the same assistance! You’ve got this, all you need to do is reach out, and someone will be at the other end to help you.