Understanding ‘Chatter’: How to Turn Your Inner Critic Into Your Biggest Ally
AcademicAlly, LLC: May 1, 2025
We have all heard the noise, that squeaking, fingernails-on-the-chalkboard, knife-scraping-the-plate, ear-piercing ambient sound of doubt and anxiety that hits us when we are at our most vulnerable. Dr. Mitch Greene, a local sports psychologist in suburban Philadelphia, calls this clamor “chatter”. In his book, Courage Over Confidence, Mitch discusses how undermining this noise can be to elite athletes as they chase their dreams of athletic accomplishment. As I turned the pages of this powerful self-help book, I realized so much of what Mitch was saying applies to my neurodivergent population I work with.
So many times, when we hear the commotion in our minds, we buy into the narrative that plays out internally. We tend to own it as our own thoughts and beliefs, when what’s being said really doesn’t accurately reflect who you are as a person and what you envision for yourself, now or in the future. As Mitch points out, it can be difficult to make the distinction between you and the internal voice you are hearing. But here’s the thing: the distinction is that you are the one who makes the decisions in your life about the classes you enroll in, the job offer you will accept, the clubs you will participate in, the people you will spend time with and those who have become tiresome or no longer useful to you. On the other hand, the voice, that booming bass, that’s capable of undercutting your every move is your “chatter”.
What purpose does this background noise serve? It is an innate part of the human brain that serves to protect you. Think about it: we all need protection from the various “threats” we encounter each day. If you are walking back to your dorm room from a party, and you’re considering taking a shortcut down a dark alley, the voice in your head might suggest that you stick to the route you know even if it’s going to be a little bit longer. It’s better lit and there are people surrounding you so if there is something that happens, somebody’s there to assist you. When it comes to the undermining nature of this voice, it will sound off when it detects something that’s new or unusual that may pose some kind of psychological or even physical threat.
Stop and think about the times when you have been most prone to hearing this voice. It’s usually when you are facing new situations or high-stakes circumstances. Business pitches to a boss, job, interviews, major exams, or presentations that make up a significant percentage of your grade are all situations in which you have a lot to lose if things do not go well. These are all situations in which you’ll most likely experience chatter. When facing new circumstances, your brain instinctively knows to step in and protect. For example. When you’re moving into a dorm or participating in a study abroad program in which you know no one or very few people, that can feel very uncomfortable and risky. Guess who’s going to show up? Your mind chatter!
This voice is annoying and distracting, and our first instinct is to fight it. We have all heard comments like:
“You are going to mess up.”
“You have so much to lose here, so you better do well.”
“Someone else is going to get the job because you’re not good enough.”
And they only serve to kick off stress and frustration at best or anxiety in worst case scenarios. So, what do we do? We fight it of course, because that is what is innately woven into our neurological and emotional makeup. But when we step out of that boxing ring, how are we feeling? Triumphant because we stood up to this invader? Or are we feeling depleted and defeated with not much to show for this latest boxing match?
There are better ways to address this chatter, and as Mitch points out, it starts with prevention.
Be Aware: Know when you are most prone to the chatter and when it’s most likely to show up. Being familiar with when your mind will start to chatter prevents you from being caught off guard and sending you into a downward spiral of anxiety and unnecessary self-criticism. If you are armed and prepared, you will know how to successfully manage the chatter.
Roll Out the Red Carpet: Remember, this little beast is here to protect you, so welcome it in-name it, talk to it. I always tell my clients that naming the chatter makes it more tangible. Be aware, the more you try to fight the noise, the more powerful it becomes. Allowing it into your personal space acknowledges that (ironically) everything is on target: here you are in a perceived “unsafe” situation, and your knight in shining armor is here to protect you. This is great! Try thanking this protective companion for coming to your aid. It may give you a new perspective and lower the heat you have felt in the past. This simple change in perspective can serve you well as it will enable you to free yourself from the instinctive desire to fight its presence, allowing you to focus your efforts on the task or situation at hand.
Self-talk: Talking to yourself can be quite helpful. When you catch the noise taking place, you can say something like, “Ahh, yes, I am having a chattery thought.” Mitch points out that this one small step separates you from the thought because you are not the one who is actively making the chatter, it is your brain’s innate means of protection that is playing out instead. With this separation established, you free yourself from believing in what is being said.
Delegate: Give your chatter a job to do when it arrives-after all, if it’s going to show up, it might as well be useful, right? Tell it to keep you company while you do your assignment. Ask it to watch as you rehearse your presentation. Just as you would hand a small child a small toy or crayons and a coloring book while she waits for you to complete a task, you can occupy your chatter with a task while it waits for you to be done.
Have a Plan: After you welcome your self-protection unit, turn your attention to your plan of action so you know how to proceed when your chatter arrives. Why are these actionable steps important? They provide tangible steps to take toward reaching your goals. For example, if you are applying for a job, you don’t want to think about just landing the job. You must think about the steps that are involved in getting it. Similarly, if you’re thinking about asking somebody out, you don’t want to focus on the “yes”; you have to have a develop a plan of action to engage the person in conversation, and get to know them, maybe do a little bit of research on their social media to get a better understanding of who they are so the conversation comes more easily.
Mitch’s last step is to proceed with courage even when the confidence is lacking. As he wisely points out, “Courage is a commitment to stick to your plan for managing chatter and focusing on action goals.” This allows you to move forward with your plan despite the noise pulsing through your mind. You don’t have to feel confident about your plan of action. You just need the ability to trust and believe in yourself to see it through. It takes strength to proceed along your chosen path, especially when the circumstances are unscripted and the end of the story has yet to be written. But in the end, you manage to lower the volume of that double-edged chatter, giving yourself the opportunity to grow and meet with success just by virtue of giving it a shot.